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editor
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 Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 1:41 pm Post subject: PokerPulse Modern Gambling Classics - Original Fiction |
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| Quote: | WELCOME!
Original Fiction:
PokerPulse Modern Gambling Classics
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| Quote: | | (Submissions in English and/or French of original short stories and poetry informed somehow by gambling may be sent to legal@pokerpulse.com). |
The Curse of the White Rat Tamer
Story and original drawing by Max Boyko
| Quote: | 
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Haiti, 1975
| Quote: | Jean-Rabel was nothing more than a small town on a tattered coastline. The coastline, better known as Cap-a-Foux - is composed mainly of a few storm-swept towns. Cap-a-Foux occupies the eastern tip of the windward passage, the link between Cuba and Hispaniola. Along the coast, as I've said, there was the small trading town of Jean-Rabel. It was a quiet and peaceful place even though in 1975 the country was under the rule of Jean Claude, a ruthless dictator, and there were sporadic outbursts of ferocious civil unrest on the island. None of these seemingly far-off affairs marred our little community.
Occasionally, my father might exchange a few words with a fellow farmer nearby. I lived alone with my father. My mother died giving birth to me. Our life was hard but it wasn't harsh. Every Saturday, me and my father went into town to sell our vegetables for money. I always enjoyed going into town, looking at the architecture, which ranged from impressive and ornate iron-embellished stone buildings to dedraggled local hovels. I also enjoyed visiting Ile de la Forure, a small island located in the windward passage. But what thrilled me the most was the gambling.
At the end of the day when all our goods had been traded, all the farmers gathered at a mostly deserted beach on the outskirts of town to place bets. The subject of their game was rats - not just any old rats but fighting rats. Two competitors would be placed in the middle of a ring and the farmers would place bets on which rat would come out alive. My father never placed a bet, claiming that only fools gamble. However, he often took me to watch the sport even though he never partook in it himself.
One night while we sat crouched around a fire, watching one of these sessions, in fact, just as we were leaving, something unusual was to happen. It had been a good session for Jacques Deschesnes, a local farmer who managed to place some outstanding bets and literally took the whole pot. While all the farmers were giving Deschesnes their money, I began observing a stranger. She had entered our midst at the height of the gambling. Her eyes looked jaded, of a non-descript color, her face seemed rather wind-swept and her entire frame was covered in a long, blue cloak, which she grasped tightly about her even though it was the hottest time of year in Haiti. But the thing that made me look at her was the black chest she carried.
Just as everyone was starting to gather the remains of their money and return home, she stepped from the shadows.
"Aren't leaving, are we?" said she in what I would now call a beguiling tone. "Of course, I guess none of you blokes really knows how to gamble..."
The farmers turned, flabbergasted. None of them could speak. Satisfied that her statement had insulted the farmers' pride, she commenced a fit of hysterical laughter. At length, the previously victorious Jacques Deschesnes composed himself and became the farmers' spokesman.
"And what, pray tell, does that mean?" asked the farmer.
"A proposition," said she.
"What do you have to offer?"
"Look!"
She let fall her black chest and out came tumbling coins gold, silver, gems, rubies, sapphires and all kinds of other treasures in what seemed to be an unlimited quantity. Oohs and ahs from the crowd of farmers who had gathered around the chest echoed across the beach.
Deschesnes raised a hand for silence. When the echoes had subsided, Deschesnes summoned himself to his senses and asked, "What's your proposition?"
"Simple," said the stranger, "You put your ten best rats into the ring and my rat will lick them all."
"What are the stakes?" asked another farmer emboldened by the prospect maybe of regaining some of his lost coins.
"If you win, you may keep my treasure, but if I win, you all must give me your land, your houses and all your money."
Deschesnes took counsel with the other farmers. After some hurried words I couldn't hear, he reappeared before the stranger. "We accept your offer," he said.
Everyone made a circle. The ten best rats were let loose into the ring. The stranger then produced a cage from under her cloak. I have never seen so many different kinds of rats but none as peculiar as the white rat. For a rat, he was small. His eyes were a deep, searing red.
When the stranger opened the cage door, he rushed out in a streak of white. It was all over in a matter of seconds. The white rat's competitors all lay dead. We all stood there not knowing what to say except for the stranger, who was grinning ear to ear.
"Where's me dues, then?" said she.
"You're a witch!" cried a farmer. "Women never gamble!" Then Jacques Deschesnes grabbed the stranger hard and pushed her - rat, cage, chest and all - into the fire.
"I curse you all to death and darkness!" she screamed, hurling the cage and chest into the waves.
That was the last we saw of the stranger. The winds of fortune brought her to Jean-Rabel and the sands of time bore her away.
I'm not sure if it was chance or if it was our fate that her curse came true. One week after the stranger's mysterious disappearance in the fire, Jean-Rabel suffered a drought and then a famine in which my father lost his life. I was sent to an orphanage, where I was adopted by an American family in South Dakota who needed help on their farm. There are no more bonfires or Saturdays in the town. I think I will never feel warm again. I wish to end this narrative with the three words my father taught me: only fools gamble. |
L’étrange cas de Jean-Marie Jean François
par Max Boyko
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Extrait des Mémoires de Maurice Saint-Yves… Interrogatoire de Jean-Marie Jean-François
La sottise, l’erreur, le péché, occupent nos esprits et les détruisent, tout doit tomber dans la mort.
Ces mots terminent la confession que m’a faite le meurtrier le plus violent que Haiti air jamais connu. J’étais face à face avec lui. Son nom était Jean-Marie Jean-François.
“Pourquoi avez-vous tué votre père?” lui demandai-je.
“C’est une longue histoire!”, dit-il.
“Racontez-la-moi”, lui dis-je.
Ainsi donc il commença le récit de son histoire.
Haiti 1879 Anse Rouge
“La mystérieuse dame est arrivée dans une voiture à chevaux. Élégante, s’exprimant avec distinction, elle a expliqué aux villageois qu’elle était à la recherche de jeunes garçons. Les villageois souriaient aux visteurs, surtout lorsque ceux-ci venaient de loin.”
Mon père était en train de jouer aux cartes, en fait il était en train de perdre de l’argent. Mais quand il a entendu dire qu’il y avait une dame à la recherche de jeunes garçons, il m’a vendu la peau. Mon père lui a confié mon frère et moi, âgés de huit et dix ans à l’époque. Pour lui, le calcul était simple: la vie à la ville, cela devait être plus facile qu’au village.
“Comme la personne était bien habillée, je me suis dit qu’elle s’occuperait bien de vous expliqua-t-il. Il avait tort… La dame nous a placés dans une mine américaine, en Floride. Nos tâches étaient ardues et dangereuses, sans salaire, de 5h à minuit, sous les injures d’un patron qui nous traitait comme des imbéciles. On était dans un fâcheux pétrin.”
“Comme la personne était bien habillée, je me suis dit qu’elle s’occuperait bien de vous.", ses es mots occupaient mes rêves.”
Donner ses propres fils en cadeau à une trafiquante, quel salaud! Neuf ans ont passé, mon frère était déjà mort d’épuisement, j’avais été tranféré à Haiti, pour travailler pour une compagnie de moulin. Pendant ces neuf ans j’étais devenu très robuste, j’ai donc décidé de m’échapper de ma prison. Je me suis évadé sans être repéré la veille du 25 décembre 1888. Trois jours plus tard; je suis revenu à Anse Rouge. J’ai trouvé mon père entrain de jouer au poker. Je l’ai saisi par son T-shirt, et j’ai commencé à lui donner des coups de poing. Son corps est tombé sur le plancher couvert de sang. J’ai ensuite piétiné son cadavre. Finalement j’ai écrit ces mots sur son corps.
“La sottise, l’erreurs, le péché, occupent nos esprits et les détruisent. Tout doit tomber dans la mort.”
Jean-Marie Jean-François a été condamné à mort. Son étrange histoire résonne dans ma mémoire aujourd’hui encore. Ce qui rend son récit encore plus choquante si étrange c’est qu’il m’a dit qu’il était fier d’avoir tué son père.
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Link to this entry
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Last edited by editor on Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:59 pm; edited 11 times in total |
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editor
Site Admin
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 2940
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| Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Frank, the Beggar Poker Player
By Kevin Matthews
| Quote: | | (Submissions in English and/or French of original short stories and poetry informed somehow by gambling may be sent to legal@pokerpulse.com). |
| Quote: | John Miller was a gambler. He held tournaments at his house in Charlottetown every Tuesday night at 9 p.m. He wasn’t a world champion or anything, just an average poker player. Some weeks he won, some he didn’t. There were twenty-five people who knew about the tournaments. Usually about 10 people showed up. No big deal, right? No, not until one rainy Tuesday night not long ago.
John and his friends were about to begin their first round of poker when the front door swung open, banging the wall. John and his friends turned their heads to the door. Standing in the doorway with the door open was a skinny guy no one had seen before, which was saying something in a place as small as Charlottetown. He was dressed in rags.
“C-could you s-spare some food for the p-poor?” he stammered.
After a few seconds, John got over the shock. “What are you doing in my house? And what’s you’re name?”
"I t-told you, I need food," said the guy, "Mm-my name’s F-frank."
“I don’t usually go around giving food to people who barge into my house,” John said, “now get out!”
Frank stayed in the doorway not moving then asked, “Can I p-play p-poker with you guys?”
John and all his friends burst out laughing. “You think I’d actually let you play poker?” John said, still laughing.
“I-if I win you g-give me food,” Frank said.
“What if I win?” John wanted to know.
“If y-you win, I w-will do whatever you want for a y-year,” said Frank.
Frank waited patiently while John and his friends held a quick discussion.
“How much food do I have to give you if you win?” John finally asked.
“All the f-food you have,” Frank said.
John thought about it for a moment then said, “Whoever has the most chips after three rounds wins, and if one of my friends wins, it counts as me wining, OK?”
Fine,” Frank said.
So John went to get an extra chair for Frank. Then the game began.
John dealt first. When he was finished, he picked up his cards; he had three nines and two aces! He raised. Only John, Frank, and two of John’s friends were left. All but John discarded. John didn’t need to discard, so he watched the others. Frank, he noticed, drew four new cards. Two friends drew three each.
John was delighted. His friends probably had a pair each and Frank probably had nothing, so John raised again. To his surprise, so did Frank. One guy folded and the other called. John raised again, Frank called, then the other guys folded.
They showed their cards. Frank had three tens and two aces. He’d won!
John threw down his cards in frustration.
Frank had $96 and John was down $68. The closest to Frank was down $1.
Frank dealt the next round. John looked at his cards; he had two Kings, a 10, a two and a four. He checked. Frank opened. He folded. This time only Frank and the same two guys were left. Since he was out, John watched. Frank picked up a card, then the other two guys picked up two each.
This was a good sign for his friends. Sure enough, they all checked!
They showed their cards. John's two friends had two pairs each and Frank had six, seven, eight , nine Jack of hearts. He was missing the 10.
John’s friends had won! This time, Frank had $22 and John’s friends had $64! John was stuck with -$69.
“You have to win this one!” John whispered to his friend.
When the next and final round was dealt, John had two aces, a King, a Queen and a two. He opened. Frank raised. John’s friend folded.
John cursed. He would have to win this one himself.
When only John and Frank were left, John drew three cards but nothing good. Frank stayed. John checked. Frank raised. John folded, guessing that since Frank had stayed, he probably had something better than two aces.
But he didn’t. Frank had 10 high! John would have won. Frank had bluffed.
John was so mad, he stomjped into to the kitchen and broke his favorite chair. He took a pull on his now warm beer then spat it in the sink. He took another pull then swallowed and spat. When he returned to the table, the guys had added up points.
“So," John asked, strill extremely angry, "Who won?”
“W-well,” Frank said, “it was a t-tie between me and your b-buddy. We each h-have $63.”
“I win then,” John declared.
“No, it w-was a tie," Frank stammered.
“I win!” John yelled, “and too bad if you don’t like it.”
“I’m not leaving until we play a fourth r-round to see who wins,” Frank said firmly.
John stared at Frank, then slowly walked into the kitchen. He came back with a knife in his hand.
"Leave or I’ll kill you,” he said calmly to Frank, who remained seated, absently looking at his dirty, calloused hands, the hands of a miner.
“No,” Frank said without moving.
John lunged at Frank, who tried for the door, but the way was blocked by the other guys, who were all trying to beat it.
Frank didn't make it. He was too slow. The knife went through him - but wait! No blood came out! John yanked the knife from Frank's chest, his face white.
“You’re not human!” he yelled, then he ran for the door.
To this day, no one has seen John or Frank, and none of John’s poker friends ever talked about that night again. |
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Link to this entry
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editor
Site Admin
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Posts: 2940
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| Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 10:15 am Post subject: |
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On those notorious 419 fictions from Nigeria:
New Yorker
Magazine Subscription
Annals of Crime
The Perfect Mark
How a Massachusetts psychotherapist fell for a Nigerian e-mail scam.
By Mitchell Suckoff
May 15/06
| Quote: | Every swindle is driven by a desire for easy money; it's the one thing the swindler and swindled have in common. Advance-fee fraud is an especially durable con. In an early variation, the Spanish Prisoner Letter, which dates to the sixteenth century, scammers wrote to English gentry and pleaded for help in freeing a fictitious wealthy countryman who was imprisoned in Spain. Today, the con usually relies on e-mail and is often called a 419 scheme, after the anti-fraud section of the criminal code in Nigeria, where it flourishes. (Last year, a Nigerian comic released a song that taunted Westerners with the lyrics "I go chop your dollar. I go take your money and disappear. Four-one-nine is just a game. You are the loser and I am the winner.") The scammers, who often operate in crime rings, are known as "yahoo-yahoo boys," because they frequently use free Yahoo accounts. Many of them live in a suburb of Lagos called Festac Town. Last year, one scammer in Festac Town told the Associated Press, "Now I have three cars, I have two houses, and I'm not looking for a job anymore.
According to a statement posted on the Internet by the U.S. State Department, 419 schemes began to proliferate in the mid-nineteen-eighties, when a collapse in oil prices caused severe economic upheaval in Nigeria. The population - literate, English-speaking, and living with widespread government corruption - faced poverty and rising unemployment. These conditions created a culture of scammers, some of them violent. Marks are often encouraged to travel to Nigeria or to other countries, where they fall victim to kidnapping, extortion, and, in rare cases, murder. In the 1990s, at least 15 foreign businessmen, including one American, were killed after being lured to Nigeria by 419 scammers. Until recently, Nigerian officials tended to blame the marks. "There would be no 419 scam if there are no greedy, credulous and criminally-minded victims ready to reap where they did not sow," the Nigerian Embassy in Washington said in a 2003 statement. (-- p. 37) |
Link to this entry
http://pokerpulse.com/news/viewtopic.php?p=2535#2535
Last edited by editor on Fri Jul 24, 2009 9:22 am; edited 8 times in total |
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editor
Site Admin
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 2940
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| Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:51 am Post subject: |
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A Nigeria 419-type fiction from Vancouver, B.C., Canada:
Here's the handbill one PokerPulse visitor received in his mail box recently in Canada's real estate fraud capital, Vancouver, B.C. - that's right! - home of Winter Olympics 2010:
| Quote: | Sherolinnah Eang
Shanelle Properties Development Ltd. - VGI
Jericho Village
www.mtdanielwaterfrontresort.com
Mobile (604) 812-6613
Business: (604) 228-0688
June 4, 2008
Dear Homeowner:
My name is Sherolinnah Eang. I own my own investment and development company, Shanelle Properties Development Ltd., which also owns a property on the Sunshine Coast, Mt. Daniel Waterfront Resort http://www.mtdanielwaterfrontresort.com/contact-us.php.
I am recently divorced and am interested in moving to the West side of Vancouver (preferably in or around the UBC area) with my 9 year old (sic) daughter, who attends Westside Christian School at U-Chapel on University Blvd. It is a dream of mine to raise my daughter in your neighborhood.
If you have a home for rent or on a lease-to-purchase basis in the range of $5,000 per month, I would be very interested in hearing from you. I would also be willing to renovate your home. Kindly call me at my office, or on my mobile phone. Thank you very much.
Yours sincerely,
Cherolinnah Eang
Investor/developer |
| Quote: | | Note: Anyone in Vancouver these days with $5,000 a month to spend on housing is putting it toward a freehold purchase somewhere in the Left Coast's fluid - pardon the pun - leaky condo market. So what fresh hell is Eang hoping to ignite in this plum university neighborhood? Our visitor has agreed to monitor the local media and superior court websites for any 'news' of this bold, enterprising investor/developer. Please check back soon for updates. |
Update July, 2009:
Link to this entry
http://pokerpulse.com/news/viewtopic.php?p=3869#3869
Last edited by editor on Fri Jul 24, 2009 9:38 am; edited 4 times in total |
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editor
Site Admin
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Posts: 2940
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| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:10 am Post subject: |
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A few PokerPulse recent fictional favorites:
| Quote: | From: solo moon
Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2009 2:39 AM
Subject: With Due Respect
Attention:
I sourced your email from a human resource profile database in the chamber, my name is Mr Solo Moon. Account officer to late Mr. Morris Thompson from America who is an gold merchant Agent here in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso,a well known Philanthropist before he died. He made a Will stating that $50.5Million dollars (fifth million five hundred thousand US) should be given to a citizen of our choice overseas. I have made a random draw and your e-mail address was picked as the beneficiary to this Will.
I am particularly interested in securing this money from the Bank because they have issued a notice instructing me been the account officer to produce the beneficiary of this before end of this 2009 else the money will be credited to the Government treasury as per law here. It is my utmost desire to execute the Will of my late client Mr. Morris Thompson since he is no more alive, both wife Thelma Thompson, and daughter Sheryl Thompson.
Meanwhile I request on your return mail, kindly re-send me your data's information's:
1. Your Name in Full:
2. Your Address:
3. You’re Occupation:
4. Your Nationality:
5. Your City
6. You’re Telephone with
7. Mobile number:
8. Your Age:
9. Your Gender:
However, feel free to ask me any question and I promise to clarify you on any doubts. transaction with
Mr.Solo Moon.
Account officer |
Note the urgency evinced by the use of fully three exclamation marks in this one:
| Quote: | From: "From Mr. Jia Yi" <jia_yi>
To: <legal>
Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2009 8:02 AM
Subject: Re: I want You To Be Our Attorney!!!
Attention Counsel,
I have previously sent you an email;
Please confirm the receipt of this mail due to the urgency of this matter.If you are not in position to represent us at the moment kindly advice immediately. After a careful review,we decided to contact you to represent our company in North America and other parts of the United States.Shanghai Kingstronic Import and Export Company is a manufacturing company with its head office in China, and branches all over Asia continent.
We got your contact details from your local States chamber of commerce.The management of Shanghai Kingstronic Import and Export Company requires your legal representation for our North American delinquent Customers. We are of the opinion that a reputable attorney is required to represent us in North America in order for us to recover monies due to our organization by overseas customers, and as well follow up with these accounts. In order to achieve these objectives a good and reputable law firm like yours will be required to handle this service. We understand that a proper Attorney Client agreement must be entered into by both parties.
This will be done immediately we receive your letter of acceptance Attorney, you can advise us what is required to draw a proper letter of engagement that will be review by our board. We are most inclined to commence talks with you as soon as possible. We shall bring you into a detailed picture of what your responsibility is, when we receive your response. Your consideration of our request is highly anticipated,and we look forward to your prompt response to this request via the E-mail jia_yi@9.cn
Your questions regarding this Proposal is welcome. Once more thank you for taking time from your busy Schedule to read this mail.
Yours truly,
Mr. Jia Yi.
E-mail: jia_yi@9.cn |
There are daily 'course' offerings by the ever-helpful contact, 'Administration':
| Quote: | From: Administration
To: legal@pokerpulse.com
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 12:00 AM
Subject: How to manage financial statements
Analysis of financial statements and business assessment
Training
The objective of this course is to help all participants understand the importance of financial statements, their components, their meaning and their usefulness. Through ratio calculations, the participants will learn to evaluate the financial health of various functions and departments within their businesses.
TARGET AUDIENCE
V.P. of Finance, Shareholders, Cost-Centre Managers, Members of the Board, Production Supervisors, Controllers and Accountants
To sign up or for further information, please contact us at 1.800.861.6618
OVERVIEW
View course Outline Initiate participants to the fundamental concepts upon which rest the application of the accounting principles that are followed by businesses in the preparation of their financial statements;
Pass on basic knowledge about reporting standards for financial statements;
Teach participants how to use accounting information within the framework of analyzing financial statements;
Initiate participants to management accounting tools such as budgets, cost-volume-profit analysis reports and operating reports;
Develop a critical frame of mind with regard to financial statements by addressing ethical notions concerning the manipulation of results;
Propose a collection of concepts, methods and instruments which allow participants to form a relative appreciation of the business' position, when judging performance, the quality of results, and vis-a-vis the risks that could affect its position;
Introduction of various elements of financial statements (balance sheet, statement of income, statement of retained earnings, cash-flow);
Description of the elements constituting each item within the financial statement and the regulations concerning the evaluation and presentation of such financial statements;
The objectives and analytical methods used in financial statements, both in their qualitative and quantitative aspects. (Here, we begin the interpretation per se of the financial statements and of the notes which accompany them, as well as of the annual report and other sources of information available in the data bases);
The role of the cash-flow statement and its interpretation;
The study of financial statements, demonstrating the inter-relationships between the items in financial statements, the use of ratios and the questions that they raise;
The behavior of costs and cost-volume-profit analysis;
The budgeting process;
Cash management (cash-flow budget);
Operating reports;
OUR WEB SITE WHERE AND WHEN
October 6-7-8 2009
Crowne Plaza, 33 Carlson Court, Toronto
P.S. Number of places limited to 15 persons per session
To sign up or for further information, please contact us at 1.877.726.2238 OR 1.800.861.6618 707 du Village, Morin-Heights, QC, J0R 1H0 |
And the legion of earnest 'experts' hoping to prod poor, old, inarticulate Biblitz toward a more useful enterprise, always with the warmest of 'regrads':
| Quote: | | Editor's Note: Our resident numbers man has already come up with the best SEO (Search Engine Optimization) Web site anytime, anywhere - SEO-upgrades.com. |
| Quote: | From: Seowebhub
To: legal@pokerpulse.com
Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 11:22 PM
Subject: Get Top 10 Search Engine Ranking at Low Cost
Hi,
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Now, You Can Gain Top 1 to 10 Ranking in Google, Yahoo!, MSN, and other search engines, In Only 3 Months, starting from Scratch with our fabulous website promotion & website optimization service!
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--
Warm Regrads
Dilip
(Marketing Team) |
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